don't judge me...

DON’T JUDGE ME…

I ride my bike a cross the road in dilli.
With the sun are strongly shining and the faces that I don’t know.
And now, I stand in front of Internet café that I use to come.
I see some people standing on the line for buying pulse
And finally I found that I need to wait to use the internet café.
I put my bottom in one the chair to wait.
And suddenly one of the security ask me
“Hey, do you know how to read Tetun (Timorese language)?” he asks me
“Actually not, why?” I replay.
“You can’t.” With strong accent “How come you can’t read Tetun, you must know, you are in Dili, Mr.” he is continue.
“But I can read in English, I think that’s enough and I don’t need learn Tetun, I can read a little bit.” My self-defense
“Yeach you right, English huh..And you so chuffed on it.”
Replay the security and look at me with animus.
“You know what if I’m in Indonesia, I will speak Indonesia, same like you now, you are in Dili, you must speak Tetun don’t you?” He was asking me again with his judging at me.
“Ok well, I will learn some times, are you happy now?” I ask him with an abrupt answer. And he is suddenly quite.
“Any way, thank you for remain me to learn language, I’m appreciate with that.” I continue. And I got my internet access.



“ from that situation, I had learn a lot, such as if we come to another country, we must need to learn about their local language, don’t proud that we know English is the most I had learn, I know that English is world language, but do all people know about English?. Learn local language could make us back to our children memory when we start learn to speak, little by little but we still try and try even we make mistake, I remember that’s really fine if we make mistake as we know that we are learner. And I’m so happy that when we learn local language we can feel and thing that we are so weak and need other to help us learn, and when we are study we like a kids again, with fresh heart and it could lift up our stress and depress in new place, because we could laugh when we make a mistake :-)

A MAN CAN CRY TOO...

Dear Brother and sisters,

I don’t realize that next week is the last week of March, and we just passed the Easter season. I believe that each of you had a great time gathering with the family. This week I went to church without my family, and friends so I feel quite a lone, but it’s not make my days are going bad, but I’m so thankful that God still give me a chance to celebrate Easter in East Timor.
This week, I can say my days not going so easy, I learn a lot every day, even though bad situation happen in part of my days, but I thank to God that give me a chance to carry on all that burden.
Situation in dilli, getting much better, there is no confrontation from follower of Alfredo that died last month because he shot the president. And this week all the people in Dili hear that the president forgive Alfredo, so this week as every body celebrate Easter, they had learned about forgiveness. The president will come back from Australia in the end of this month or first week of April, so it is good news for Timorese, me too actually. All Timorese are hoping that the situation will get normal again. And this month rain still fall down, and it is make the heat going down. (I wrote one of the stories “freedom is in rain” on my blog). Another story is some of the refugee will got money from the government $ 4500 for their life but they must go back to their home town or house (not in refugee camp in dili), but some of them don’t want it, they still want to stay in refugee camp in Dili, from my observation I think some of them don’t want to return to their house is because in refugee camp they got support every month from government or NGO that taking care of them, it is mean they just don’t want to work, they just want to take free for every things. That’s why some times I don’t like them^-^,
On Monday, one of my friend (from Korea), she back up the entire document in the computer that I’m work with. So after she back up the entire file, she change the entire program with the new one (excel2007 and windows2007) that she just brought from Korea. So now, on my computer is use new system. So after she clean up all the virus, I put my document back, but suddenly all my document deleted by anti virus that she upload, now all my document that I need to send to Korea are gone. I really disappointed about it, because in that file, I put every thing, my financial report for 6 months especially that make me want to cry, so now I try to type again all my report that make me really exhausted this week.
So in the afternoon, I went to internet café to send some e-mail to my coordinator that now in Kupang (west Timor), and send some report to Korea, but the trouble just came out, I couldn’t open my file that I save in the flash disk, so I really get angry with that, because the e-mail is very urgent but any way I type again directly on the internet café that mean I spent more that 3 dollars. (I wrote on my blog too, by the way). After finish send the e-mail, I ride my bike to go to market to buy some stuff, but on the way to the market I got hit by a car, Hick...Hick…my bike is totally broken, but I thanks God that I’m fine, just scratch on my hand and feet. I charge the car to repair my bike after fighting in Tetun language (actually I don’t understand tetun) so on that time the driver repair my bike and I got my bike back.
The problem is not done yet, after I return home, I found that I need to teach at 4 pm, so after got home I open my book and prepare for the class. And finally my class going well, I quite exhausted with all that happen today.

After all that happen, I had learn that I need to be peaceful to face up some difficulties that happen, and another thing is a man could cry too, yess. ..on the Monday night I was cry because I feel really a lone, in such of difficult time like that. My file are gone, got an accident and teach with a lot of pain on my hands and feet. Above all I really thankful with what God just let me walk through, and I believe that God has made every thing beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). and i believe that some day when i face all this again i could be strong and don't need to cry

above all thak you somuch for your pray and support, may God be with you always.

please pray for
my health and all the program and my service here.

with love and prayeR

side of angger

whach over me

hey..

you.. look at me

and tell me that you are man

far or distance never took the beat

just show me your strenge

then i can force my self

you afraid of me

huh...

look you think you better than me

close your mouth couse i will show

my power

couse i know you

as week as a pity

as human can be

i had learn that angger is make my energi gone and make more depress and going under the world..

ears phone

Close Your Ears, So The World Is Yours….

We made in the beauty of God
With strength that keep all fine
We life in beautiful place of world
Let us see the wonder of it

I’m standing in one of cross road of East Timor road. I found and see a lot of people walk around and some of them are drive their car in the hot temperature of Dilli, every where in here just amazing. People are laughing, driving, and selling kind of food near by the government office. I saw one guy went out from one of office near by “Palacio” (Government’s office in East Timor). He walked with big book on his hands and I know he is a foreigner. After he went out from the office, directly he put ears phone on his ears and put some music on it. I saw him so confident with his way, and walk a cross the road with music on his ear, and I believe that he never hear the noisy of the road and he just hear his music and don’t care with other person, so on the way, I saw some body stop him and said some thing but he just walk over and don’t replay what somebody else speaking because he didn’t hear about it.
So as human, I had learn that when we “close our ears, so the world is mine”? is that true?? I believe that is not true, I know we just want to be our self, not speaking to other person or try to ignore the noisy of his world, but for me it is look like some kind of Egoistic of our self, God made us to connecting with other people and be nice to other not just be our self and ignore the world around us.
I remember one of my supervisor in retirement community in the USA, 2 years ago, she told me when I put ears phone on my ears, she said that “you look so egoistic with that, and I believe that you will never hear other person and don’t care with every thing around you” and now, I realize that (thank you for her).
Even right now, some times I still put ear phone and I know and realize that I feel I’m so egoist with other people.

“Open your ears to hear the world screaming out and need your help”

freedom is in rain

Freedom Is In Rain

Drop the water never could stop me
Wet or dry just let me through
Don’t worry
This is just water to wash my tears and sorrow.


It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon; I walked to the market that takes just 25 minutes from my house in East Timor. I know in that in a couple minutes cloud will drop the water to the ground, but I completely sure that I will be home before the rain comes down. So I walk by my self to the market and bought some vegetable for my dinner. After I bought all the stuff I go back to my house. But on the way the cloud can’t wait to drop the water so, here it is the water touch the ground.
When the rain comes I stop and go to one of empty house and wait until the rain stopped, but the rain not easy to stop so I wait a little bit long. While I’m waiting, I saw a lot of Timorese walking under the rain, without any umbrella on their hands. They just walk like there is no rain there, and they so happy walking under the rain.
Finally, I found that in east Timor when the rain comes, they feel freedom on it, a lot of youth running, and feel the freedom. I remember last time when I had English class in my house; it was rain and all my student just run away because they said that when the rain comes we don’t have to sit and works or study. So I look out side and found a lot of youth just running and playing with the rain and don’t care about my class. They feel free; even I know that they have a lot of conflict and straggling in their life, but they just fly with water and dancing and enjoyed on it.
Actually I really complain about all this, if I live in my home town and the rain comes we never and never play on it or just walk around under the rain. Because I will get sick after I play on the rain. After I saw Timorese play, actually I thinking why they are so stupid, do they think that they will get sick?” and I realize that is fine in their culture, because they feel free on it, free from fear, free from depression from the situation in this country, and free to be their self.
Now I know, if we lived in another country we don’t need to judge what their habits or said that we are smarter than them, we just need to learn that every thing is fine if we just go with the flow. Another thing that I had learn, is be our self is more happier life than copying other person’s life. And I hope I can feel the freedom when I walk on the rain, not fear, or afraid about my life and future, just free to walk and be my self.

“feel the fredom and we will get the happier life in this world”