don't judge me...

DON’T JUDGE ME…

I ride my bike a cross the road in dilli.
With the sun are strongly shining and the faces that I don’t know.
And now, I stand in front of Internet café that I use to come.
I see some people standing on the line for buying pulse
And finally I found that I need to wait to use the internet café.
I put my bottom in one the chair to wait.
And suddenly one of the security ask me
“Hey, do you know how to read Tetun (Timorese language)?” he asks me
“Actually not, why?” I replay.
“You can’t.” With strong accent “How come you can’t read Tetun, you must know, you are in Dili, Mr.” he is continue.
“But I can read in English, I think that’s enough and I don’t need learn Tetun, I can read a little bit.” My self-defense
“Yeach you right, English huh..And you so chuffed on it.”
Replay the security and look at me with animus.
“You know what if I’m in Indonesia, I will speak Indonesia, same like you now, you are in Dili, you must speak Tetun don’t you?” He was asking me again with his judging at me.
“Ok well, I will learn some times, are you happy now?” I ask him with an abrupt answer. And he is suddenly quite.
“Any way, thank you for remain me to learn language, I’m appreciate with that.” I continue. And I got my internet access.



“ from that situation, I had learn a lot, such as if we come to another country, we must need to learn about their local language, don’t proud that we know English is the most I had learn, I know that English is world language, but do all people know about English?. Learn local language could make us back to our children memory when we start learn to speak, little by little but we still try and try even we make mistake, I remember that’s really fine if we make mistake as we know that we are learner. And I’m so happy that when we learn local language we can feel and thing that we are so weak and need other to help us learn, and when we are study we like a kids again, with fresh heart and it could lift up our stress and depress in new place, because we could laugh when we make a mistake :-)

A MAN CAN CRY TOO...

Dear Brother and sisters,

I don’t realize that next week is the last week of March, and we just passed the Easter season. I believe that each of you had a great time gathering with the family. This week I went to church without my family, and friends so I feel quite a lone, but it’s not make my days are going bad, but I’m so thankful that God still give me a chance to celebrate Easter in East Timor.
This week, I can say my days not going so easy, I learn a lot every day, even though bad situation happen in part of my days, but I thank to God that give me a chance to carry on all that burden.
Situation in dilli, getting much better, there is no confrontation from follower of Alfredo that died last month because he shot the president. And this week all the people in Dili hear that the president forgive Alfredo, so this week as every body celebrate Easter, they had learned about forgiveness. The president will come back from Australia in the end of this month or first week of April, so it is good news for Timorese, me too actually. All Timorese are hoping that the situation will get normal again. And this month rain still fall down, and it is make the heat going down. (I wrote one of the stories “freedom is in rain” on my blog). Another story is some of the refugee will got money from the government $ 4500 for their life but they must go back to their home town or house (not in refugee camp in dili), but some of them don’t want it, they still want to stay in refugee camp in Dili, from my observation I think some of them don’t want to return to their house is because in refugee camp they got support every month from government or NGO that taking care of them, it is mean they just don’t want to work, they just want to take free for every things. That’s why some times I don’t like them^-^,
On Monday, one of my friend (from Korea), she back up the entire document in the computer that I’m work with. So after she back up the entire file, she change the entire program with the new one (excel2007 and windows2007) that she just brought from Korea. So now, on my computer is use new system. So after she clean up all the virus, I put my document back, but suddenly all my document deleted by anti virus that she upload, now all my document that I need to send to Korea are gone. I really disappointed about it, because in that file, I put every thing, my financial report for 6 months especially that make me want to cry, so now I try to type again all my report that make me really exhausted this week.
So in the afternoon, I went to internet café to send some e-mail to my coordinator that now in Kupang (west Timor), and send some report to Korea, but the trouble just came out, I couldn’t open my file that I save in the flash disk, so I really get angry with that, because the e-mail is very urgent but any way I type again directly on the internet café that mean I spent more that 3 dollars. (I wrote on my blog too, by the way). After finish send the e-mail, I ride my bike to go to market to buy some stuff, but on the way to the market I got hit by a car, Hick...Hick…my bike is totally broken, but I thanks God that I’m fine, just scratch on my hand and feet. I charge the car to repair my bike after fighting in Tetun language (actually I don’t understand tetun) so on that time the driver repair my bike and I got my bike back.
The problem is not done yet, after I return home, I found that I need to teach at 4 pm, so after got home I open my book and prepare for the class. And finally my class going well, I quite exhausted with all that happen today.

After all that happen, I had learn that I need to be peaceful to face up some difficulties that happen, and another thing is a man could cry too, yess. ..on the Monday night I was cry because I feel really a lone, in such of difficult time like that. My file are gone, got an accident and teach with a lot of pain on my hands and feet. Above all I really thankful with what God just let me walk through, and I believe that God has made every thing beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). and i believe that some day when i face all this again i could be strong and don't need to cry

above all thak you somuch for your pray and support, may God be with you always.

please pray for
my health and all the program and my service here.

with love and prayeR

side of angger

whach over me

hey..

you.. look at me

and tell me that you are man

far or distance never took the beat

just show me your strenge

then i can force my self

you afraid of me

huh...

look you think you better than me

close your mouth couse i will show

my power

couse i know you

as week as a pity

as human can be

i had learn that angger is make my energi gone and make more depress and going under the world..

ears phone

Close Your Ears, So The World Is Yours….

We made in the beauty of God
With strength that keep all fine
We life in beautiful place of world
Let us see the wonder of it

I’m standing in one of cross road of East Timor road. I found and see a lot of people walk around and some of them are drive their car in the hot temperature of Dilli, every where in here just amazing. People are laughing, driving, and selling kind of food near by the government office. I saw one guy went out from one of office near by “Palacio” (Government’s office in East Timor). He walked with big book on his hands and I know he is a foreigner. After he went out from the office, directly he put ears phone on his ears and put some music on it. I saw him so confident with his way, and walk a cross the road with music on his ear, and I believe that he never hear the noisy of the road and he just hear his music and don’t care with other person, so on the way, I saw some body stop him and said some thing but he just walk over and don’t replay what somebody else speaking because he didn’t hear about it.
So as human, I had learn that when we “close our ears, so the world is mine”? is that true?? I believe that is not true, I know we just want to be our self, not speaking to other person or try to ignore the noisy of his world, but for me it is look like some kind of Egoistic of our self, God made us to connecting with other people and be nice to other not just be our self and ignore the world around us.
I remember one of my supervisor in retirement community in the USA, 2 years ago, she told me when I put ears phone on my ears, she said that “you look so egoistic with that, and I believe that you will never hear other person and don’t care with every thing around you” and now, I realize that (thank you for her).
Even right now, some times I still put ear phone and I know and realize that I feel I’m so egoist with other people.

“Open your ears to hear the world screaming out and need your help”

freedom is in rain

Freedom Is In Rain

Drop the water never could stop me
Wet or dry just let me through
Don’t worry
This is just water to wash my tears and sorrow.


It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon; I walked to the market that takes just 25 minutes from my house in East Timor. I know in that in a couple minutes cloud will drop the water to the ground, but I completely sure that I will be home before the rain comes down. So I walk by my self to the market and bought some vegetable for my dinner. After I bought all the stuff I go back to my house. But on the way the cloud can’t wait to drop the water so, here it is the water touch the ground.
When the rain comes I stop and go to one of empty house and wait until the rain stopped, but the rain not easy to stop so I wait a little bit long. While I’m waiting, I saw a lot of Timorese walking under the rain, without any umbrella on their hands. They just walk like there is no rain there, and they so happy walking under the rain.
Finally, I found that in east Timor when the rain comes, they feel freedom on it, a lot of youth running, and feel the freedom. I remember last time when I had English class in my house; it was rain and all my student just run away because they said that when the rain comes we don’t have to sit and works or study. So I look out side and found a lot of youth just running and playing with the rain and don’t care about my class. They feel free; even I know that they have a lot of conflict and straggling in their life, but they just fly with water and dancing and enjoyed on it.
Actually I really complain about all this, if I live in my home town and the rain comes we never and never play on it or just walk around under the rain. Because I will get sick after I play on the rain. After I saw Timorese play, actually I thinking why they are so stupid, do they think that they will get sick?” and I realize that is fine in their culture, because they feel free on it, free from fear, free from depression from the situation in this country, and free to be their self.
Now I know, if we lived in another country we don’t need to judge what their habits or said that we are smarter than them, we just need to learn that every thing is fine if we just go with the flow. Another thing that I had learn, is be our self is more happier life than copying other person’s life. And I hope I can feel the freedom when I walk on the rain, not fear, or afraid about my life and future, just free to walk and be my self.

“feel the fredom and we will get the happier life in this world”

DAD..Let me grow..

DAD…Let me grow…….

Age is just numbers…
Walk through them is blessing
Learn is part of it
Ready or not we will face all this.
As a child we think like a child
As youth we need to grow up
Don’t be the same any more!!!!
"Dad, I want to buy a motor bike, can I?" ask my brother when he want to buy a motor bike, but my dad always told him that he can’t buy motor bike before he got driver license, because my dad was afraid if he let my brother buy, he will get injure or accident. My brother was angry because of it, so he got mad and my father always gave him suggestion to wait until him graduate from high school.
Another story is when I stayed with my host family. This family has a teenager boy, he like hang put with his friend and some times he stay over night in one pf his friend’s house. So one times when he wants to stay in one of his house, his dad was said no, because he needs to study because he has test, but a teenage boy doesn’t listen what his dad told him so he went out and when he came back his dad just told him that what ever you do I hope you will understand that study is more important.
And now, when I came to East Timor, actually my family doesn’t let me to go because the situation in Dili (East Timor) is not safe, as you know a lot of conflict here. But after discus with all my family finally they give me permission.
From all off it, I know that may be some of parent doesn’t want their children walk from out of their permission, so I think it will very hard to the child because they want to grow up, take his/her responsibilities and walk through all thing that they want.
But one thing that as a child we need to hear our parent’s words, I know as a young man we want to be free, just waiting for right moment. As we grow, we will take step by step our responsibilities, may be hard or may be easy it is depend how we take all that responsibilities. As I learn I take all my responsibilities from my family to works in East Timor, it is not easy that I thought, some times I need to get down with low feeling or some times just want to get out and having fun. But one thing that make me realize is that I had learn to grow not only having fun all the time but I need to responsibilities for my future and my life, I believe that my life is on my hands and my future on my feet.
And for parents, I want to ask you, why you always think your child is still small kids that need direction to go? I know that your really love us but we need to GROW UP too, don’t you know that. But one thing that I learn from all of you is you are great parent for your child, I believe there is no father or mother that don’t like their child, but give us chance to take our responsibilities, just tell me that when we go in wrong direction and give us chance to take our responsibilities.
"Our life is on our hands, and our future is on our feet"

learn from e-mail

Talking is no more teaching than listening is learning

I believe that when we face up difficult time we need some support and some advice from our friends or family. And this week I found my self that I need some body to help me out in such of boring time in East Timor. So last time I send an e-mail to one of my best friend and I got the great e-mail that gave me new spirit to go.
After read this e-mail, I’m blessed with such of words that he wrote to me. I realize that even in elderly we could share some of knowledge to the young generation, and I’m proud that as a young I could learn from him.
In this e-mail I learned also that we could make some of new style to teach, because right now, I teach in Dili, and so bless that he gave me new idea to teach. Another thing that I had learn is we don’t have to speak a lot but just listen other and be quite and listen other is more great, and now, I try to listen what other want from me and I will do the best for them.
And amazingly I found that Fear take all my energy, and I make me more down in difficult time, but after read this e-mail, I don’t have to worry or fear about any thing, God hand always lead me.

"Dear Nofika ....
You might have thought that we have fallen off the edge of the planet since it has been several weeks since I have written to you. Fear not! My absence is because we have been out of this area for several weeks, and I have not had access to a computer. First, we planned a two week vacation in the south - state of Florida. It had been some time since we had the pleasure of just going off on our own, without responsibility for anyone. (When you are OLD, you have this luxury!!) While in Florida, we had word from members of my family that my younger brother, who had been very ill for a long time, was not going to live very long. Thus, we rushed home, and upon arrival, received a phone call from my sister that my (younger) brother had indeed, died. This was a sad time so we made the 350 mile trip west and shared with the family in the funeral. Now we are back at the Dock Woods resident, tired, but otherwise feeling very well. I went to the men's fellowship (coffee) on Wednesday morning and shared some of your letter. Several of the men wanted your email address, and as soon as I can, I will share that with them. I brought your greeting to all of them.
You mentioned that it is hard to teach the students, especially when they do not pay attention. Is it possible for you to involve them in materials they might find more interesting, such as a newspaper? I remember working with a teacher in Prague, Czech Republic who used common ordinary materials. Even "comic books". Another thing is that the teacher there asked others who spoke English, to join them in "conversational groups". Any thing to avoid simply talking. We used to say, "Talking is no more teaching than listening is learning".
You also mentioned that at times you experience "fear". On the downside, fear takes a lot of your energy, and tires you out. On the upside, fear alerts your body, focuses your attention, and allows you to draw closer to yourself in protection to those opposing forces. So fear is not all bad!! What you describe about the local conditions seems to come close to "civil way" where factions are working against each other. We know that you will persevere with your work until you complete what you set out to do. And, may the God of love and grace keep you and fill you with Holy energy (of the Spirit) so that you will be safe, and also finish what you set out to do.
Nofika, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
We have also worked in many foreign and hard places, but have never been threatened with our lives. So, we know that such work taxes your mind, body and Spirit. HE that called you will guide you through to the end. So, be at peace in your heart and life.
With affection ...
Harry (and Dot)
Dock Woods (Mennonite) Community
118 Dock Drive
Lansdale, PA 19446-6230"

And above all this e-mail, I had learn about life and realize that I need someone to teach me more. And take time being quite and listening other feeling is the best serve other that I ever know.
Be peace and, continue to learn.

Laughing at our self, WHY NOT???

Laughing at our self, WHY NOT?

"Hidup adalah perjalanan maka nikmatilah, Hidup adalah tantangan maka hadapilah, dan hidup adalah permainan maka bermainlah dengan baik dan benar"
Kadang kita berasumsi bahwa hidup kita berhenti ketika terjadi suatu kesulitan atau masalah, masalah keuangan, pasangan hidup dan mungkin masalah berhadapan dengan budaya baru disaat kita memulai suatu perjalanan hidup. Tak jarang di antara kita ketika menghadapi budaya baru atau bahkan keadaan yang baru membuat kita tertekan atau bahkan sampai stress olehnya, banyak mengeluh tentang keadaan atau budaya baru atau bahkan tidak mau sama sekali berhubungan dengan budaya atau lingkungan disekitar yang serba asing, maka dari itu kenapa kita tidak mau mencoba, jika memang ada kesalaahan, kenapa tidak Laughing at our self untuk proses belajar.
Saya memepunyai beberapa pengalaman dimana saya dituntut untuk masuk dalam suatu budaya baru dan kebiasaan baru. Dan inilah pengalaman saya itu.

Saat itu, saya sedang mengikuti program pertukaran budaya di Amerika selama setahun, dan kejadianya pada pagi pertama ketika saya diajak sarapan pagi di depan saya hanya ada roti, semangkuk cereals dan segelas orange jus, saya menikmati sarapan pagi saat itu sambil ngobrol dengan keluarga yang saya tinggali, tapi sayang setalah 2 jam sarapan perut saya lapar lagi karena tidak makan nasi, jadi saya bilang ke keluarga itu saya belum sarapan, dan sontak mereka kaget kareana baru 2 jam yang lalu menikmati sarapan bersama, (saat itu seperti anggapan orang jawa, sarapan berarti makan nasi).
This is another story, it was my first night I slept with one guy from Argentina, he is very nice person, and we had good communication, we were discus about work or culture until mid night and finally we stop our conversation because it was mid night. First I went to the bath room to brush my teeth, after that I went back to my room but some thing made me shocking and I never could forget it, the guy was naked in front of me and just walked in front of me without shy or permission so and that time I just stood up and watched him, no speak or breathing just like a statue and So for the next day I told him that in y culture it is not polite so after I told him he was laughing and said sorry, and it was my "first night" to see an adult guy naked…haha
When I get use too American culture I had to get back to Indonesia, and it was not easy though. I have too experience reentry and it was quite hard for my self. I got mess up with my own culture with American’s culture. Last time when I walked around with friends, I brought a cone of ice cream and eat it while I was walking, suddenly all my friends look at me with strange face.
I said "what?"
One of them said that it is not polite to eat while we walking. I haven’t completely recovered from reentry of American-Javanesse I have to be send to Timor island, which name I only heard in news paper. I have no idea about the culture in Timor island, so you can imagine I do so many silly things (Again!!!!!)

And this is my very impression experience that I had I west timor, actually last month I got this experience. I was stay in my friend house to celebrate Christmas and new year. This family is from SABU tribe \ ( it is one of tribe in West Tmor). Actually I don’t know the culture in here for greeting each other, it was after Christmas service in the church, all the members of the church went out to greeting with the pastor including me, I saw one by one rubbing each other nose, in my culture people have a quite wide personal area so it not common to be physically too close to other people. so I thought it was only for the members but when my turn is coming I just want to shake hand but the priest pull my hand and make his face close with mine at that moment I almost scream out and said "Noooooo don’t do that"

but finally….

HE GOT MY NOSE….….

but for me it was not that bad and latter on I got use to it and here I have little tips to do it for you, please pull your lips back and close your mouth, you have to do it other wise…well,.. you know what will happen……

the other experience was my over confident teach student in the Peace School. It was the time to say good bye, so I told the children to come again tomorrow, I said that information in Teturn, I said " abang tinan 2 mai" (that’s mean tomorrow age 2 came again) and actually I want to say " abang tuku 2 mai) (tomorrow at 2 o’clock came again), the different is I use Tinan and Tuku (age and O’clock) so after I said like that all my student look at me and laughing at me and all the student call me Tinan 2 ( 2 years old).

After all disaster to learn new culture and language, now I could learn a lot and some times if I remember all of silly things I could laughing at my self. But one thing that I can share is why we need to be shy to learn new thing padahal from our mistake or silly thing we could get a lot of knowledge. So "just laughing at our self" if you made some thing silly, especially if you want to try some thing new or you in the middle of strange place. Keep moving guys!!! Don’t be afraid to laugh for our self.

published on newslleter Timor Lesste.

start with learning

Start with learning

"Life is a journey so enjoy it; life is choice so chose the right one, life if blessing so be thankful of it"

The day goes by so fast, the season change with a lot of memories on it, sometimes sad but sometimes happy and all of it is our life journey. And the day always start with new hope in each morning.
I remember when I was child, I always try some thing new and always ask to my parents about anything, some times they just told me a simple one but some times make me confuse. But all of it we need to learn, even sometimes we tired to learn about anything but life is learning process so why we don’t need to enjoy the time that we have to learn. When I was child I learned to walk, and it was not easy I need to hang on my father hands if I want to walk, after trying all the times finally I could walk right now, so learning is like that we will get the great point if we are not give up with all the difficulties that we face up.
A couple years went by, we still need to refresh our mind with new thing, and so do you think learning process will stop when you get older? Absolutely not, look around us, every body learn, when they getting mature they will face up difficulties more than they was child. So they need to learn more than, learn to make a decision, learn to deal with future, deal with girl/boy friends, so all of it we need to learns.
I had read one of article that I found in my host family house in the USA, in one of my father desk,( his name is Jim King) he put a paper that had letter on it with "learn in never die, because knowledge always growing up". After read that words, I relies that all human need to learn as long as he still in the planet earth. So for now, I’m just surprise that a\some people stop their study or end their learning process with some of bad thing. I believe that around us is our teacher, even stone, leaves, tree or animal, they could be our teacher to lead us to face up all things that happen in our life, so why we don’t see around us, just see and learn from it.
I believe that each one of us could help each other to learn, I could learn from you, and you could learn from me, and lets make the world more beautiful with our comitment to help each other to learn.
"I learn from you, you learn from me".
With love and prayer,
Fika_08